If Operating Systems Were Amusement Parks

Microsoft Park Numerous rides, any of which may throw you off. Most people just get right back on. Strangers will go through your pockets at any moment, and amusement park will blame you for not protecting your pockets. It smells nasty, but nowhere near as nasty as it did 5 years ago. It costs an insane amount to get in, and you're told you will soon have to keep paying in order to stay.
LinuxWorld Numerous Linux parks exist, all have been built from different but similar kits. There aren't as many rides as at the Microsoft park, but strangers keep putting up new ones that work better than at Microsoft's park, but they still crash from time to time. Occasionally you get mugged. Most of the rides are Free, but you can't bring beer.
FreeBSDLand Fewer "native" rides than Linux, but there are a number of Linux rides that have been brought in. The rides are more stable, and a bit more secure than at LinuxWorld. Most of the rides are free, and they let you have beer.
Camp OpenBSD Nowhere near as many rides as the others, but they rarely explode, and you almost never get mugged. Like at the FreeBSD park, the vast majority of the rides are free, and demand that you possess beer.
Apple Commune While built off the same kit that built the FreeBSD park, it's much prettier which more rides, but more expensive than the MicrosoftPark. It's reasonably safe, if only because nobody knows how to get there.

If there's one unifying factor among all but the first park, it's that everyone has been to Microsoft Park, and escaped.